Sensuality 101: Embrace Your Wild Feminine
How to awaken the body to greater pleasure and vitality using the 5 senses.
Despite a growing cultural remembrance of the Goddess among women around the globe over the past few decades, many western women are still living in a largely disembodied state shaped by patriarchal values. To survive and thrive in the West, women are groomed from childhood to suppress much of their femininity and take on the more masculine values that society is built upon.
How often were you encouraged you to explore your own body? Did anyone ever explain the importance of developing a self-pleasuring practice before engaging in sex with another person?
The centuries-old patriarchal dogma of paternal inheritance, conquest, authority, control, achievement, and status drive us to create life experiences that are based upon principle and expectation—both of which exist outside of us. Rather than basing our life choices on a sense of connection and meaning, we are taught to devalue the significance of sensuality and emotion by seeing them as distractions or weaknesses when they are the very substance of our humanity and the key to our feminine power!
Food for Thought…
â–ş How many times were you encouraged to function as a care-taker when you were growing up?
â–ş How may eggshells have your been expected to walk on—people-pleasing your way out of trouble, lowering your voice, being modest, closing your legs, and letting males take the lead…especially in the bedroom!
â–ş How often were you encouraged you to explore your own body? Did anyone ever explain the importance of developing a self-pleasuring practice (especially before ever engaging in sexual activity with another person)?
WHAT IS SENSUALITY?
Sensuality is your ability to awaken and energize the body by becoming fully present to the richness experienced through each of your 5 senses. Governed by the sacral chakra, sensuality colors the unique expression of your identity, creativity, desire, sexuality, and emotion.
When a woman is fully embodied and honors what she senses and feels, she activates the power of her feminine life force energy known as Shakti. Shakti is the Far East name for the Goddess—”the organizing principle of the universe who embodied all the forces of life, death, and rebirth.” (George, 1992)
Creative energy (the same sexual energy used to create humans) responds to desire and desire is fulfilled through sensuality. Therefore, the more centered you are within yourself, the greater your ability to attract and manifest the life that you truly desire.
Now, let’s talk about 5 ways to get out of your head and sink deeper into the juiciness of your sensuality as a woman!
#1 – EXPERIENCE MORE PLEASURE
Pleasure is not a luxury or privilege, but an essential energetic nutrient than increases the physical vitality of the body and awareness of the soul.
Imagine for a few moments that what your life would be like in the absence of all 5 senses. If you could not see, hear, taste, smell, or feel…there would be darkness, silence, stillness. Your only proof of existence would be generated by your ability to imagine.
Your 5 senses create your ability to fully embody a life on this planet, enjoying the abundance that it provides. As spiritual beings having a human experience, sensuality is everything! It’s what anchors us to this world. Pleasure is the medicine that strengthens your life-force energy through the emotion of bliss and is the result of receiving beauty through the 5 senses. It breathes life into your relationships, health, career, personal growth, sense of meaning and spiritual connection, and community impact.
Author Randi Gunther, Ph.D., mentions that sensuality is “…The ability to fully experience one’s senses. Smelling, tasting, seeing, hearing, touching, and feeling combine to awaken the body” (Psychology Today, 2015)
The body, mind, and spirit are interwoven systems that respond to one another at all times. If we become shut down in one area of life (i.e. Inability to access sexual pleasure in intimate relationships) due to trauma, fear, or limiting belief structures―we actually limit our overall experience pleasure in all other areas of life (friendships, career, hobbies, lifestyle, etc.). You simply cannot compartmentalize something that is so fundamental to your ability to survive, thrive, and evolve as a human expression of the Divine!
INCREASE PLEASURE THROUGH THE SENSES
See beautiful images at museums and art galleries, visit parks and gardens, and try eye gazing with your beloved.
Hear inspiring words and sounds, music, podcasts, birdsong at dawn, rainfall, laughter, loving voices of kind people.
Taste delicious foods of many cuisines, dark chocolate, wine, fresh fruit, your own juices and your partner’s!
Touch yourself and enjoy therapeutic and/or sensual touch from others, massage, self-pleasure, hugs, and caresses.
Smell pure essential oils, natural incense, a fresh breeze outside, the rain, and explore your partner’s natural scent.
And as for your 6th sense or Intuition:
1) Imagination is one of the many languages of the divine that you can better understand through the development of your intuition. Spend at least 10 minutes daydreaming and another 10 in meditation each day.
2) Write a personal vision statement for your life. This will develop your inner sight and help you to stay focused on the experiences you intend to manifest through the power of your intention.
If you need help developing your life’s vision, I created a workbook just for you! Click here to get your copy of the Create Your Vision Workbook.
#2 – ENJOY TIME ALONE
Spending time alone is a great way to clear and recharge your energy field. It provides you with the necessary space to observe and process your own thoughts, experiences, and sensations. This is how you rediscover yourself.
Journal, meditate, dance, go out into nature, visit a local cafe with your favorite book, travel to a new city…the possibilities are wildly endless!
Take a day off to go unplugged. In the absence of headphones, TV, and the usual noise…how okay are you with silence? Spend some time with your journal to record your thoughts, dream-build, and empty out any heavy feelings that may surface once you become still. After a while, take a hot bath or put on some music that makes you feel like a goddess and shake it off! Get into your body and simply take in the bliss of YOU!
It’s easy to fill “empty spaces” with noise, distractions, entertainment, food, sex, etc. But just because no one else is around and your usual distractions are at bay, doesn’t mean that the space is empty.
YOU are a mini-universe—a whole, perfect, and complete expression of Love and bliss. One you can find peace and joy in simply sitting with yourself, you will unlock a whole new level of bliss that expands you deeper into the mystery and possibility who and what you are!
“Succulent. Ripe. Juicy. Whole. Round. Exuberant. Wild. Rich. Wide. Deep. Firm. Rare. Female.”
―S.A.R.K., Succulent Wild Woman
#3 – PRACTICE HOLISTIC SELF-CARE
Besides eating well and exercising—you can amplify your daily self-care routine by making pleasure the centerpiece of every action. Holistic self-care entails simple acts of service that honor the beauty and sacredness of your being physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
PHYSICAL
Learn about your Yoni and how to care for her! Yoni is a Sanksrit word for the sexual and reproductive system and it means ‘sacred space’ or ‘origin’. Invest in a certified, body-safe Yoni egg to begin building a relationship with your Yoni. Practicing with Yoni eggs can increase yourself-awareness, sexual confidence, vaginal lubrication, orgasmic potential, and overall vitality. Practice Yoni breathing, Yoni yoga, and Yoni steaming.
Click Here to Read: “What is a Yoni Egg?”
Use natural body-care products made with ingredients that serve a purpose beyond basic hygiene such as plant-based oil, clay, seed butter, salts, wildflowers, honey, essential oils, etc.
Engage often in sense-based activities that bring your focus down into your body. Try therapeutic movement (i.e. Ecstatic dance or hatha yoga), massage therapy, or work with a somatic practitioner to move past blocks and develop a more intimate connection with your body and being touched.
MENTAL/EMOTIONAL/SPIRITUAL
Connect with other women in sisterhood often because having a social support system is essential for everone on this planet. There is no such thing as ‘too much connection.’ If anything, most Western women today are starving for genuine connection with one another because we lack the spaces and permission to share in a non-goal-oriented way. Start online and build your own ‘circle’ of support over time. There is endless potential for healing, growth, and bliss within a circle of kind women.
Walk your talk! Don’t just imagine the bestest, baddest, and boldest version of yourself. Become her unapologetically, now! Spruce up your wardrobe, visit a hair salon or image consultant for a new style. Don’t go overboard, just step a little further than your comfort zone and carry yourself with more confidence (even if you don’t feel it yet). That’s the trick, we learn and become by doing first!
Examples of how to take it up a few notches!
â–ş Wear sexy lingerie as an everyday undergarment just for YOU! Why only dress up for other people? What message does that implant within your psyche? Impress yourself first, always! Everyone else comes second.
► Dress to impress on days when you’re not planning on leaving the house for anything or having anyone over.
â–ş Book a hair and makeup appointment followed by a glamour or budoir photoshoot.
â–ş Save up, dress up, take yourself on a date to the finest restaurant. Order something expensive, smile, and lavish every second!
► Speak up in the bedroom! Tell your partner what you’d really like. Perhaps, take the lead, initiating or try something new that makes you feel centered in your power!
â–ş Melt into a soothing goddess bath with herbal bath salts, candles, crystals, essential oils, and soft music.
â–ş Take the concept of moisturizing to a whole new level by putting on some music that makes you feel sexy and confident while slowly caressing your skin with a natural lotion, cream, or botanical oil infusion.
Yes, I know it’s a bit eccentric. But, what a great way to experience the healing benefits of aromatherapy while your skin becomes engorged with freshly oxygenated blood for a healthier glow thanks to that little 5-minue self-massage!
â–ş Awaken your inner vixen with an herbal body spray made with rose, jasmine, or your favorite essential oil blend.
â–ş Treat yourself to a massage, Yoni steam, facial, and pedicure every month.
Eat well, exercise, breathe deeper…I could go on and on adn include SARK’s idea of eating mangoes naked, but I’ll stop here!
Treat yourself to the best and finest pleasures you can find, every day. You are a goddess…think about that!
#4 – DANCE LIKE NO ONE’S WATCHING
Treat Me Time like an official holiday that happens at least 1-2 times per month and put in on your calendar. Cue up your favorite music, wear lingerie, tights or loose-fitting clothes, and dance like no one’s watching!
Ecstatic dance is a sacred movement and language of its own. It gets you out of your head, into your body, and deeply in touch with your sensuality. You’ll benefit from the release of endorphins that result in overall greater pleasure and health.
Dancing can release pent up emotions that are stored as tension in your muscle tissue (even if you are completely unaware of its existence), especially the hips. This is why Bellydance, yin (restorative) yoga, and Yoni yoga can be helpful in the process of emotional trauma-recovery.
You’d be surprised how many problems work themselves out while you move those hips! If you’re up to it, go to a local dance class. Try sensual dance such as pole dance, burlesque, of chair dance!
Most importantly, be playful and have fun. Loosen up, use big movements with your arms and hands even if you look silly! Insert your Yoni egg and wear waist beads or a body chain for a little extra fun!
#5 – CREATE SOMETHING
Creativity activates the sacral chakra, which governs your Yoni pituitary gland (the master gland in the brain that largely controls your endocrine system). Therefore, all of your body systems get a boost of vitality to perform better and increase your resistance to illness.
Awaken your inner child and invite her to play, paint, collage, color, sculpt, draw, knit, sew, bake, write a poem, or sing.
Tell your story through writing or speaking, create some handmade goods, write a memoir, start a business, give that speech you’ve been practicing in you mirror all these years, record the YouTube video you’ve been thinking about…
Don’t hold, hoard, or suppress your creativity because it can manifest physical imbalaces within the womb. Find a way to release your gifts into the world so that you can continue to flourish! Stop perfecting, editing, tweaking, trimming, and replanning—just do it!
When you create, you attract more divine inspiration and abundance into your life. The more you express your gift into the world, the greater your light and confidence will become. Creativity is the infinite expression, unconditional love, and your personal fountain of life.
“If you cannot face directly your sexuality, You will never discover your true spirituality. Your earthly spirit leads to discovering your heavenly spirit. Look at what created you to discover what will immortalize you.”
—White Tigress Manual
References:
Book: Mysteries of the Dark Moon by Demetra George (1992)
“Sexy, Sensual, or Intimate—What is Your Sexual Style?” by Randi Gunther, PhD (2015, Psychology Today)
“What is a Yoni Egg?” by Dominique Danyail
POST A COMMENT BELOW: What is 1 way that you can bring more sensual pleasure into your life this week?
